CS™ at 6:54 AM

The following post is copied and paste from my facebook and is testament of God's amazing love for me =)



God is just so amazing you know =)

Okay so I signed up for iCamp cause I wanted to do something for a change during the holidays. I usually just rot in front of the comp if you know me. I didn't even know what iCamp was actually about.

So, most of you know of my ankle sprain 9 weeks ago. Before camp on Monday I went to see a specialist and the doctor told me that I tore a ligament in my ankle ._. If you people remember, there were many altar calls for healings in the past few weeks and I went for most of them. However, I didn't get healed and was quite down and started to doubt God in my life. I watched others get healed every week but where was He for me? I asked.

I started to doubt my faith. Didn't my faith equal up to a mustard seed? Also, I felt quite insignificant in the eyes of my friends and struggled to find meaning and direction in life. Furthermore, it was even harder to find significance in my failing grades at school.

On the second day of camp during worship, the pastors and camp comm were going round to pray for us and as I was worshipping, Pastor Vic came over to me and prayed over me. Even though I said nothing, God knew what was in my heart and gave Pastor Vic the perfect message for me. He told me that I was significant to God and God loves me. It really touched me at that moment because I needed to hear that.

I had always known the "model answer" kind of stuff like, 'your significance is in God and not in others' but God just didn't seem to appear in my life and was not an option for me at the time.

Later that day when we were having soaking time, I again broke down questioning God why. Why sometimes I try so hard and put my best in for my friends and yet I still feel so let down, betrayed and unappreciated. Because at camp we were learning about our identity in Christ. E.g. I am a child of God. (John 1:12) so I was just asking God to seal those promises for my life.

During the prophetic painting, fangfang drew a rainbow for me. The outermost colour of the rainbow was purple. She explained that purple was actually a colour for royalty and it signified the sealing of God's promises in my life. (I didn't mention this part in my testimony during camp)

God's love never fails. There was more to come.

On the third day, we were all given candles. As we were called to be the light of the world (Matthew 5:14). It was a choice for us to make, if we would make that commitment for God. If you wanted to then you would raise your hand and a pastor would come to you to pray for you and light your candle.

I knew I couldn't promise when I still didn't really feel God near me. I sat down as everyone got their candles lighted up one by one. This time, I felt even more left out. As I was praying, I was prompted to open my bible to Isaiah. The first thing I saw when I flipped to Isaiah was Isaiah 57:14 onwards which is titled 'healing for the backslider'.

What touched me most were verses 18-19
18I have seen his ways,
and will heal him;
And restore comforts to him
And to his mourners.

19"I create the fruit of the lips:
Peace, peace to him who is far
off and to him who is near."
Says the LORD,
"And I will heal him."

I just broke out, crying. This time, I really felt God's presence and love over me. Can you imagine? When you're feeling all lonely and left out, and you realise that you are actually in someone's thoughts? When you're actually significant to somebody. Not to say when the somebody is actually the king of kings =)

Pastor John came over to me even though I didn't raise my hand. He asked me what God had shown me and I explained the verse. Pastor John prayed over me and he told me that I didn't need approval from my friends because I had the greatest approval already. This time it felt so real because God was really revealing himself to me.
Also, I didn't need to please my friends but I needed to obey God. But what was really comforting was that Pastor John reminded me that before a command, came a promise. God had already sealed those promises for me.

Remember God is omnipresent, and no matter how lonely you feel, or how distant you feel from God, He is always by your side. Seek and you shall find Him.

As for my ankle, I believe that it is God's decision and on my part I will obey Him. No matter what, God has a plan for my life (Jer 29:11).

I dare to stand here today claiming God's promise that I am a child of God (John 1:12) and his grace IS sufficient for me. I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God (1 Peter 2:9,10), I am not the great "I am", but by the grace of God, I am what I am (1 Cor. 15:10).

His Love never fails! (1 Cor. 13:8)
Chengsin =)