CS™ at 6:08 AM

The family atmosphere sucks. It's always full of tension. My mom just can't shut up when she's unhappy. Like just now, we all just finished soccer/frisbee and my parents came to pick us. Then we were deciding how to settle dinner. So in the end we decided to packet home porridge. And then my mom kept quiet with a black face.

Later my dad stopped at the opening of this carpark where there was no more space and then he went to buy food. Then some stupid car wanted to go into the already full carpark. And then my mom just stoned there, reason being that the carpark is full and there's no point letting the guy in. At least make a friendly gesture or something right. As if we weren't unhappy that my dad had to come back into the car, try and squeeze in somewhere and don't know what.

Later my dad went out to get the food, she complained why need to packet home, create more work for the maid. And why my dad take so long. Please lah, got problem say earlier right, people go there already then make noise. Like that everybody also get upset. I was super tempted to just pass a remark like "stop complaining at everything"

Seriously, what the heck.

If you think one incident could spark off such a big argument, of course not... Everything has to be your way. At your convenience, just because you are busy and all you are trying to do is to help us. E.g. insisting to send us to places.

On Good Friday, I was in church and I left my handphone in my bag cause I wasn't supposed to use it anyway. When I was done, I saw her miss call so I returned the call. Immediately I was scolded for being 'inconsiderate'. Please lor, all I was going to do is tell her I was going out. I was quite happy to do that, trying to be responsible. And then I get scolded out of nowhere. In the end she calmed down and then just allowed me to go out. Apologies don't appear by themselves, unless you feel you weren't wrong.

Just because you have good intentions, doesn't mean you have to force it on us. Yes, we have to account for where we go but we have never gotten into trouble right? Either you don't trust us, or everything must go your way. And I'm thinking it's the latter.

My dad is working very hard and is overseas like half of the week. One day my mom said "I miss your dad". But what she did today, having that black face the whole day, was like totally unappreciative.

We all are unhappy at times, you don't have to show it off and make it bad for everyone right. Resentment is built up as time goes, and if apologies don't come in to break them down then, forgive me if one day I go totally out of my way. I know if I do burst up someday, I'm at fault too, but to err is to be human, and I hope you'll reflect on that. We don't always expect things to go our way. If it doesn't we just move on.

I don't understand why you can let things go at times, and at other times flare up for no reason. Like keeping quiet when some stupid saleswoman is scolding you for not heeding your advice, and then complaining when I didn't pick up your phone call because I was in church. And then when you're angry you won't take in any criticism like nothing's ever your fault. Wonder why it was so hard for me to forgive you after that last flare up? think about it... the answer's at your side.

Sometimes, we're happier independantly but we appreciate your concerns. An eagle teaches it's child to fly by throwing it off the cliff, and catching it if it fails to fly, before it hits the ground.

Whatever it is, I honour my parents because they aren't perfect, and they aren't meant to be. I just feel that things could be better.